Retail Therapy

Got my nail polish, finally!

And bought three fictions with just RM30.00!!

Oh my, I'm satisfied.

A bit of advice, to myself.

Feeling a little lost. *sobbed*

And I feel like running away from all these stuffs that are no doubt been bothering me this whole while.

I'm getting drained by all these tensions and stuffs. 

Yea I need to be motivated again.

Re: Just need to readjust your attitudes towards all these. See them as challenges, and embrace them. You're a grown up now! Never doubt yourself eh! You can do it, most certainly! It's okay to have some mood swings sometimes, but never allow it to overpower you. Don't you ever let you mood to control you, girl, instead you needa take control of it. It's your own decision after all. To see things positively, or  in a negative way, it all depends on YOU, not others. 

Regain your strength!

Love and kisses, my dearest me (;

You've got friends out there! I'd like to see you smile everyday, promise?
Uh so I'm a little stressed because of the kompang stuff ><
Forgive me :p

Memories to treasure (:

All photos credited to dear seniors~

Decided not to go back home during the mid semester break after my cute and lovely mummy's : " It doesn't make sense for you to come back, it's barely a week." 

Well how surprisingly, I didn't feel much down kinda mood seeing my friends busy packing and updating their status on Facebook on how well they feel being home. Aye I'm not pretending and I ain't jealous *giggles*.

I do miss my mum, my dad and my little bro. I really do.

It's just that sometimes you feel too well adapted as if you can survive through it, yada yada yada.

And okay, I didn't feel much homesick because, just because I called my family almost everyday, just almost LOL.

And as you grow up, you begin to taste a little bit of different experiences. You meet new people, enjoy yourself, and start to create some memories of your own.

Feeling crazy hah, I felt excited to participate in a camp!

I met my old friend, Buddha, here in Santavana Forest Hermitage, but this time a bit differently. I got to know him more, learnt to respect him, and was taught to practice and apply his teaching in my life. I began to reflect and rethink of myself. 

I've learnt just too many things in this four days and three nights. Not something academically, but nevertheless no less important, on how to be a good man, who evaluates good and bad, does the good and right things, appreciates and always being thankful.

And that Tuesday night was especially memorable. It touched everyone's heart. I saw Buddha's compassion and my old man's love. Though didn't shed my tears, but deep inside my heart, yes I'm touched.

Thanks mum and dad. 

I often describe myself as a good kid who relatively cause much less troubles for them comparing other kids. But am I perfect? No, never, no one is perfect, and I'm certainly not trying my best, yet. Sorry for hurting your hearts and feelings sometimes and being least considerable. What's more I never feel wrong about it.

I do love you. And yet I'm sorry.

The feelings that I felt from this four days' experience were beyond words. And all I can say is thanks and love, for all the committees, bhante, all my friends and my dear family.

And sadhu sadhu sadhu! Call me 靜昕~ ^^

P/s: Hey people and me, good luck for the coming exams and assignment due dates :p

A very nice song to be shared (:

English should be treated more seriously

I've come upon this issue which has been bothering and frustrating me these few days. It is all about first, the usage of English in a university; second, the quality and attitude of university students; and third, the problems arose when the two factors before did not get along well with each other, or simply cause annoying outcomes.

I really have something to share about this.

The first shock I got can be traced back to the time when I was trying to apply for universities. Stated as one of the qualifications is to "score"at least a band one in Malaysian University English Test (MUET), which literally means anyone who take the MUET exam can enter a university, just that you'll need to take it. SO what cause the problem? FYI, a band one scorer, stated just as clear on the result slip, is a very limited user of English language who can hardly able to use the language, with very limited understanding of language, context and ability to function in the language. So WHY organizing such exam that makes no sense at all (exception for those applying for critical courses such as medicine and dentistry), as you do not even need to pass to make a qualification.

The second shock is received when I enrolled into my university and until now, I've still still been given lectures in Bahasa Malayu, even though all the materials such as lecture notes and international text books are all written in English. And the reason given is, to optimize students' understanding. Some of the assignments are even being instructed to be completed using Bahasa Melayu. On the other hand, some students are having their own copies of textbook in Bahasa Melayu and examinations are conducted bilingually. 

And the third shock of the students' ability to master English language, which I refuse to give much comment here. I cannot say that I'm all good in using English, but I'm much, or surprisingly better. However, the students' attitudes or further efforts (or no effort at all) to excel in mastering this language are definitely not satisfying. 

I do believe English deserved to be treated more seriously in a tertiary education system. 

And seriously, I feet burdened working under such situations. 

Concentrate. Breath. Assignment. Meditation. Calmness. Attention.

Concentrate. Breath. Assignment. Meditation. Calmness. Attention.

Concentrate. Breath. Assignment. Meditation. Calmness. Attention.

Keep calm and do your assignment. Yea keep a positive mind and everything will be alright!

Cheers and good day~

To love or not to love, that is the question

It is always the weirdest thing that what makes you cried so hard before has now became something you love:

It has really been a while since I ever paid full attention to my lectures.
It has really been a while since I ever tried to know and learn something.
It has really been a while since I ever felt relax and enjoyed doing an assignment.

It has really been a while since I ever fell in love with anything.

I am always an indifferent kid.
Passion is some emotion that I don't usually experience.
The Biology is okay, so do the Chemistry, Physics, Maths and history.
I performed well in my academics.
But I'm just being indifferent.

And now I'm in a university, a place where everyone works so hard to chase their dreams.
Wow, touching, and I meant it.
Maybe I just need to change a little, so that I'll live a life more lively.
And if you don't love yourself and your life, nobody will love them for you. It is sort of an independent work.

Well, just work harder and prove it to yourself that life is meaningful, and simply because you made it so.
Cheers!

Awe I'm still the girl who cares too much on her study and being a little egoistic.

Feeling real bad after my attempt to quiz turn out to be sorta disappointing. So what, I'll need to study harder.

Starting my new life in UMS

To summarize myself for the past one month:

I somehow learnt that blogging is just an entertainment, well literally it means that it is illegal to be done.
It is twelve thirty in the midnight, and my laundry is not yet done.
I am enjoying my life, so far it has been one month.
Instead of finishing my assignments, every weekend I am having fun.

Yeah I heard my laundry's calling for me. Which means, I get to go.
Nice to see you though, my dear little blog *smiles*

It's just funny to find something in common between you and your brother. We kick off our shoes before entering the house. Hah.

The Potato Effect

The mosque nearby is having some religion talk and I have taken their "Merdeka, merdeka (independent)" sorta thing as "Potato, potato!"

Time to say Goodbye?

I do think it's time for me to change my lifestyle, finally.
I have only a month left of holidays, it's really time to really grab some rest. 
So sleep earlier and wake up fresher?

Will be leaving the kids by Friday. I'll miss y'all!

I'm going to remember every moment spent with you kids:

Zi Hang (the cutest and most manja) who can hardly have a bite on the corn as he has no front teeth, hope your teeth will grow out soon;

Zi Yang please be more hardworking, and try to love your dear younger brother more? Ah and stop crying when given spelling tasks. You look just like Zi Hang, but you're nine and he's seven;

Joanne be a lil' less bossy? And smile wider when you're sent with those nice meals?

Ying Xuan mix well with your fiends, complain less and you'll gain more friends;

Ivy and Thompson continues your charm, but use them wisely, you'll still needa finish your works;

Evan be careful with your subtractions, those mistakes made are just ridiculous;

Chester and Jin Jiet grow taller (Jin Jiet yells less please!);

Zi Tao stop frowning and playing too much. As I told you before, you're actually a good kid;

Li Shen you're smart but don't brag. To concentrate is more important than anything. I'm training you for your future;

Jason Chang stop whining. Finish your work before playing. You've done well so what's the point whining?

Ah Jeff (Mr Wall without an echo) and Wei Long work harder eh. Hard works will be granted with success, as in return;

Zi Yuan good luck for your Olympia Maths Competitions And watch out kid, you're getting lazier;

Boon Keat improve your manner. It's so weird how a kid can be so adorable yet irritating at the same time;

Olivia don't mess with your hair. And take care of your health. No frying food while you're constantly having a nose bleed kay?

Ying Yee stop aiming my food. Haha anyways, you're the best kid in the class. Least annoying and acting good;

Yu Quan improve your Chinese please. And stop practicing violence towards your friend. Hope you got your durians soon;

Jason Tan stop being a blur king?

Sheng Hee thank you for stop crying (:

Jing Yi and Chong Xuan good luck for your study

And Jaydern, Yan Ern, Jason Khor, Hsin Ling, Jack, Yu Ze and dot dot dot (haha)

Thank you for those amazing moments, I learnt a lot!

And sorry if I ever hurt your feelings but I've done it for your own good. Sounds like a real teacher haha yea I'm brgging.

See you in the future?

Kids these days

Had a brief talk with my primary school teacher.

"Kids nowadays are real dependent and sorta passive."

We sighed.

Tiresome stuffs to be completed before enrollment.

The lazy feeling when you reread your previous posts and found out about those grammar mistakes that you've made.

轉念

應該是今天的第三篇了，好像之前停頓的那一段時間都硬要補回來似的。

但是想法這一類的東西，當下你不記錄，過一陣子是再也找不回來了的。

而有些心情，換了一個語言，反而很難表達清楚。

這一個月過得好快，但有那麼幾天，我覺得他好長好長。

也好久沒有痛痛快快的哭過了。

也不算是夢想，但就算只是一個被粉碎了的期望。

也一樣會讓人覺得很心痛。

上帝關了一你扇門，必會為你開啟另一扇窗。

只能這樣安慰自己了。

但我不喜歡這樣。

我不需要安慰，需要的是真正的，做到毫不猶疑的轉念。

不是委屈求全，而是欣然接受。

不是化悲憤為力量那麼偉大的事，但我想做到光明正大。

接受，是我花了好幾天才學會的事，經過了好幾番的侃侃而談才醒悟的事。

但我學會的還有好多好多。

不單只是接受，還要有一絲絲的勇氣與信心。

那幾天的心情，將成為我的經歷，就不要忘記吧。

沒一點血淚那不叫青春！

所有和我一起經歷這一切的朋友，你們永遠是我最珍貴的。
心從灰灰的色調轉成暖暖的顏色，小小的期望也重新燃起來了。
別訝異於我心靈的強大，你們不知道你們做了多偉大的事。
所以我也不該嗇於分享，
希望也有讓你們重新燃燒起來。

但那該死的政府，真的是

圈圈你個叉叉。

I Love You Malaysia!

Raya holidays are comin soon, and my holidays will end soon. And I'll be starting a new journey. So if you feel like missing me, do pay me a visit eh?

Then I shall be standing on a different piece of land.

The uneasy feeling when you arranged yourself a too-packed schedule and you're unable to finish all the tasks at once.

The joyful feeling when you multitasked and thought yourself successful and you think you did well.

Oh multitask madness is what we call this kinda feeling.

Well I'm certainly not the multitasking kinda people (: So I tried not to reply the message when I typed this entry and I shall stop pushing myself to finish all the subjects revisions at once.

Slow you pace down I guess? And I'd love to do so.

[giggles] Have a nice and reflective day!!

(Ideas from Readers' Digest's )

I have no idea why but it seems like posts and entries and articles everywhere kept reminding me from my recent lost of one very virtue friendship. Ah but not to relate it to any awkward situations I actually encountered recently. So before I even started the post, I'll have to claim that this has NOTHING to do with guys. So it's just basically some girl's problem.

(I'd like to quote my cousin here but I'm not sure if he'll like me to do so. All the words are just like a loud "BANG" in my head and I started to see things a lil' differently.)


Maybe it's always better to confess your feelings rather than hiding them.

Maybe it's just hard to see if the someone you held most preciously see you as precious as thee.


I'm confused. And I shall be confused. As you can never know accurately how others feel and think. I felt guilt, shameful and frustrated every time I doubted her intentions, whether all her acts are out of her consciousness, or vice versa. I precioused all my friends. I trusted them all and was never hesitant to expose the true me, never tried to hide myself. But some painful experiences just made me wonder, if it's always worthy to do so.

(Well it's still worthy, I guess. Something real nice and warm things did happen to me. So I guess the faithfulness can only be done with those who really appreciated you.)


Backstabbed once, twice, and I'll never forgive those who have done a third time.


My dear darling Elicia taught me that, like an experienced old captain. I wasn't so agree with her at first. Dreams are always better than reality, and I was so into it, deeply, unconsciously. It can all be my imaginations. I might be the worst friend ever to even doubt a good friend's act. But I'm enough with it, seriously. Doubting a person makes me tired.

I'm not sure if you'll feel me changing. I called less. I seemed less enthusiastic when you called. I'm not so sure if I'm gonna to hang out with you anymore.
I made new friends, too. But I never thought of abandon the old ones. We might hang out less, as this is more to natural rules of the world than bad intentions, but we shall appreciate every time we spent together. That shall not be changed!

Whining about, complaining and being sarcastic when we finally have time to hang out.. I tolerated everything, trying my best not to spoil the day.

My dear friend, you pushed me away. I did not intend to do so.

You're still my friend anyway, just no longer someone I'll pour my feelings to..

Stay Tuned. I'm not so organised right now.

It has been a while since I last written an entry. A lot have been gone through, for the last few months.

Some are good. Some are bad. Some are bad at first, and it turns out not so bad after all.
My thoughts changed, a lot.

Anyways, I'm not really here to talk about it, yet.

Anyways, life goes on. And we shall talk about it, maybe later?

Imma ghost!

So that's how you can conclude my recent life:

Ghost Whisperer. Work. Ghost Whisperer. Sleep. Ghost Whisperer. Work... and the cycle repeats

[smiled]

Boring in a legal way

I am home! Yes truly true!

And holidays are just some ordinary days which are now driving me to the border between freedom and crazies.

I AM BORED!!

And to quote my dad (hah the funny old man): You look like a tiger trapped in the cage eh. As I announced that I was so bored I wanna walk twenty rounds around my living room. He said with his eyes staring at the PC, refused to pay me any attention.

Exam tension

Tension is good for your health and life.
Tension is good for your health and life.
Tension is good for your health and life.

Ok, I got it.
Just keep that in mind.

Epic

I'm going to start this with the biggest roflmao ever

I've tried bowling this morning and it turned out to be all fun but hah, I've also discovered that I'm a terrible player LOL..

But there's no harm done towards my self esteem I'm still me. Just that I can't help laughing.

Ranked 32 over 35 or 36 people.. Simply epic lol just to remember the moments [giggled]

Nice day~~

Tedious tedious

  Well sometimes you just feel to bad to be a good girl. A normal Friday afternoon. A too-boring and prolonged religious talk. And what makes the thing worse, it's not even my religion. (sighed) Hmm so let's start planning. If he's not planning to stop, I'll tolerate till five then I should just walk straight out of the hall. Awe I've even finished a book. I mean FINISHED a whole novel.
  Hey so let's just don't be bother by those people. Preaching? Nope for me they're just murmuring. Let it be. Let it be.

Hah I know I sound like a total psycho.

Moi Nojoud, 10 ans, divorcee. A great book to be read.

P/a: Now I've even finish typing a blog entry!

Attitude!

It has been a while, yea a long while.

I have a whole new calender on my writing table, with a shiny "2013" printed on it. Time just slipped through your fingers. It just slipped through them like that. I was suddenly struck by the realization of how fast moments can pass, and be forgotten. Well I do not mean to be so emo but sometimes emotions and mood does swing, don't they?

Happy CNY!! As I missed the chance to wish y'all a Happy New Year earlier this year.

Life, as usual, never allow me to rest. Lately, I was so occupied and frustrated by things, and even people around me. Lots of attitudes, nope I would rather name them as bad characters that has been shown lately. I was always wondering and doubting myself whenever I got stuck in some awful situations, like quarrels, for instance. Was I being over-reacting or having too high expectations that everyone working with me will end up disappointing me? I came out with the one and only conclusion, nope its all about flaws in attitude!

I'll confess. Yea I was a lil' mad that day. As a friend, (well I can always be a sincere one, if given such chances), I really hope that you can actually turn into a more dependable person, especially when you're a guy. Nothing can be learned without trying. "I don't know" should never be the quote of your life! Life is about giving and taking. The more you are willing to give, and you shall be granted more. "Aye I don't have the skill. What if I spoil your grades for the project." Well I smiled at this. I have given you the chance. And yet you rejected it. NO harm is done though, I'm going to earn more then. You should be grateful, though, as I promised myself not to whine at things like that last year and I'm still willing to follow it.

AND I'M GOING TO KILL YOU IF YOU'D DARE TO MAKE ME FINISH THE POWERPOINT PART!